myself in four parts

I woke up to a kiss this morning as your dad was leaving for the airport. It stole me from the land of sleep and with my eyes still closed I rolled onto my knees, grabbed his hands, and we prayed. He smelled like soap and Old Spice. I heard him clunking his way down the stairs which was followed by that all-too-familiar heaviness of heart. The anticipation of a daddy-less week.


I laid there in the dark, everything quiet except the fast, relentless flicker of thoughts passing like an old film reel. Everything I need to do...a detail reminds me of another detail and almost imperceptibly my thoughts make a million hops across my brain like a little flea on crack. 


I'm telling you this because someday your worries will consist of things beyond whether lunch is served on the froggy or the ducky plate, and you too may find yourself laying in the dark feeling helplessly subject to your anxieties. And I want you to know what I've learned from all of this: 


There are four distinct voices operating within us all. 


Body, spirit, mind and heart.


These night-time displays generally occur when one of them is needing some attention. It's a bit like parenting a house full of kids. The body and spirit are quiet and subservient and won't make much noise unless they're really bothered. The head and the heart can either be the very best friends, the quintessential powerhouse team or they can hate each other's guts...and their battles will unfold on the playing field of your body.


They all just need a little lovin', really. My bonding methods of choice are yoga, prayer & scripture study, meditation and writing, respectively. If I do them everyday I glide through life like a well-oiled machine. 


BUT, I'm reminded of this precious instruction by my own failure to live up to it recently. So don't get discouraged. You have all of the tools you need to do wonderful things with your life. Like becoming a charitable person. The goal of all goals. I'm working hard to be a role model for you because you are precious and you deserve it.