Fasten your seatbelts...

My little brother is getting hitched.

People generally give the same reaction to the news of an upcoming wedding. "Wow! Great! Congratulations!" With big smiles and lots of enthusiasm. I'd say this is for one of three reasons:

One. They're newlyweds themselves and being married is like, so totally awesome and stuff and they just want to share the love! And aww, isn't that sweet?

Two. Behind that enthusiasm is evil laughter because they've been married for a while now and holy crap, this is hard. And they really want to see that lovey kissey couple with wide eyes in a few years saying crap! Those people were for real! This is hard! Because there is some kind of validation in seeing people you respect being challenged by the same things you are.

Three. That is genuine, wise, tested and true enthusiasm for the dear couple because they've been married for a LOOOONG time. Long enough to experience the hard, overcome it (really, I'm just musing here. Is that even possible?) and have learned what marital love truly is. Respect, unselfishness, unselfishness, unselfishness, unselfishness, tenderness and a good sense of humor. And it has brought them insane amounts of heart pounding, eyes welling with tears, soul warming JOY.

Tanner & Sarah, congratulations. I'm thrilled for the both of you. (cue evil laughter....)

;)

a letter to my stella girl

Sweet Stella,

At one year old you are the embodiment of all that is sweet and heart-melting and pity-evoking and delicious. You have this uncanny way with dimples and rolls that leaves all onlookers melting into a pile of goo. I mean, just yesterday I went to get you out of bed, all in a hurry, and your big bright eyes landed on me and you started bouncing and shrieking with such contagious laughter that I found myself grinning stupidly and forgetting all about the meeting we were late for!

Sometimes your dad and me, upon hearing your first squawks of the morning, will lock eyes and then race down the stairs, elbowing each other all the way to your crib to get the first slobbery kiss of the day. Delicious, I'm telling you.

And there's "the lip". It sticks way out like a pouty little saucer right before your flood gates open and you just fall to pieces. That lip and those big eyes look up at me with such vulnerability and confusion that I impulsively scoop you right up into my arms and kiss that fat roll on your neck and say, "shhhh mama's got you" until you feel safe again.

When we rock and read books at night and you sit so still on my lap and rest your blonde, curly head right on my chest and your squishy little hand on my arm, my heart just explodes right then and there. It aches with so much love and peace and nurturing that it gushes up my throat and out of my eyes and there I am weeping reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?

You are the most perfect little individual I could have ever dreamed up and I am absolutely enthralled to be your mama.

a finalist!

Nathan's video "The Joy of Motherhood" was picked as one of the 10 finalists for the church's create your own Mormon Message competition! You can click here to vote for it. Sweet, huh!!

the joy of motherhood

nathan's latest piece of work....